Monday 25 August 2014

1980's: Top 5 Best Selling Albums


It's been a long time since I Rock n' Rolled, by which of course I mean it's been a while since I wrote for my blog. I think my way sounds better though. Anyway, it was only when one of my adoring groupie girl fans (my besty Liz) asked me where my blog had gone, that I realized how long it had been.

So at the request of my adoring groupie I have decided to write about this rather groundbreaking, life and death topic, The 5 best selling albums of the 80's.

So pull out your tube socks, put on on your leggings and attach some hula hoops to your ears. This is a decade that saw hippies squashed by a new government super power, commercialism. It's a time when fashion took a turn off course, through a bush and on off a cliff. It was a magical cocaine fueled decade where everything was fun because, well, everything was completely irrelevant. The best things in life where free, but you could give them to the birds and the bees.

So in a world where shiny Compact Disk's where the technology of the day. What albums were we spending our hard earned cash on? Let's find out.


5. Kylie (1988)

1988 was a year to remember. Ireland beat England in the Euro's, Tom Cruise was showing us some brotherly love in "Rain Man" and most importantly of all, there was a little bundle of joy set to arrive on my mother's steps... ME!

Something of much more cultural importance happened this year though. There was a young Australian heart-throb about to hit the scene and make men everywhere drool on their shoulder padded pink suits. Surely looks couldn't alone carried Kylie's debut album to the title of fifth best selling album of the decade? No not quite. Kylie had something up her sleeve, or in the sleeve of the album cover at least. A secret weapon. The Loco-Motion. A song so unstoppable, so masterfully written and so representative of a decade that threw taste out the window, that it helped Kylie's debut album, so ingeniously named "Kylie", to reach an unforeseen sales peek. Selling over 5 million copies worldwide and being certified platinum 7 times in the UK.

Yes even the Brits couldn't deny Kylie her right as a true ambassador of the 1980's.





4. Queen Greatest Hits (1981)

If ever a musician defined a decade it was Mr.Freddie Mercury. He had it all, a voice, a look and what to this day is arguably one of the greatest bands of all time. There place in this top five is not surprising, especially when we are talking about there greatest hits. The 80's was a decade of greatest hits albums.

Queen's greatest tracks include the likes of Don't Stop Me Now, Flash, We Will Rock You and some other tracks that never really took off like Bohemian Rhapsody.

this was the bands most successful album, selling 6 million copies in the UK alone and hitting a whopping 8x Platinum status in the US.

To this day the band and the album are considered to be one of the best of all time. While Freddie himself is no less than an icon of rock music.... or music in general for that matter.


3. Thriller (1982)

The 80's saw many many strange and cringe worthy things happen. Michael Jackson is responsible for the vast majority of brilliant music in the 80's which certainly isn't unusual. What was unusual was that as Michael passed through from 1980-1989 something about him was changing. Not his music that was as incredible as ever. Not his dance moves, they were still being mimicked by EVERYONE EVERYWHERE! 
No during the 80's Michael Jackson transformed himself from the biggest Black African American pop musician of all time into... Well.... The biggest WHITE African American pop musician of all time.

The people had their theories maybe he was being racially abused at gigs. Maybe he took the Thriller video a tad too serious and wanted to actually become a zombie, unfortunately he did manage that but not until the 90's.

But no something even more shocking was actually going on. The biggest pop star in the history of the world apparently wanted to be Peter Pan. Fair enough I suppose, I wanted to be Peter Pan once... I was EIGHT, But sure different strokes for different folks.

Anyway, I don't need to tell you about the Thriller album, we all know the songs, the video, the creepy dance moves and the soon to be creepy artist. It was only 1982, he still had his looks.

Thriller may be the third best selling album of the 80's but it has a much more important title, one that makes me shake a little. It was, still is, and probably will forever be, the single greatest selling album of all time anywhere. At one point it was selling more then a MILLION copies a WEEK!!! nobody knows exactly how many copies of it has sold to date, but I'll tell you this, the likes of Axl "Dickhead" Rose wouldn't have been allowed shine Michael's shoes, and my god were his shoes shiny.

It didn't manage to outsell these next two albums within the constraining years of the 80's, but it stood the test of time better then anything ever written by any artist on earth.



2. Bad (1987)

Then he went and did it AGAIN. 30 Million copies worldwide and 9 time platinum. The bad album was just proof that Michael Jackson was the biggest artist of the 1980's by a long shot.... though he was starting to look a little pale. Making money is stressful.



1. Brothers in Arms (1985)


This was a surprise to me too... Dire Straights as good as they are, would have never outsold Michael Jackson... Surely, but they did, in the 5 years that Brothers in Arms had in the 80's it sold more then Bad by about a hair, a long permy hair at that. In the long run? well not too shabby... it has sold almost exactly the same amount as Bad has and is also of course 9x platinum.

The secret? "Money for Nothing", one of the first music videos ever to be aired on MTV and certainly the first to use 3d animation. Looking back, it is a horribly hard to watch music video. At the time though it was revolutionary and sent people running to the stores to pick up the album.

Let's not take away from the album itself. "Money for Nothing" is considered to have one of the catchiest riffs of all time and other tracks like " Walk On Life" and "Your Latest Trick" are some of the 80' biggest tunes.

It is with great pride and quiet a bit of... ehh,REALLY?... That Dire Straights are given the prestigious title of Commercial Genius's of The most Commercial Era in Human History.... Despite trying to do quiet the opposite.




Thursday 12 December 2013

StumbleUpon: Top 5 things I, eh?... Stumbled Upon

I  know I may have given up cigarettes but that hasn't stopped me developing other, less lethal addictions. www.stumbleupon.com has been around for a long time now and I had forgotten about it completely. Until one faithful day a few weeks back when I decided to see how the site had progressed. It looks a lot more modern then it did years back when I was on it last and I decided that seen as I had no idea what my old account info was that I would sign up again.

The registration process was painless. It asked for quick sign up of email, username and password and then generated a list of interests for you to tick. Once signed up you can start stumbling immediately, they use a new across the top almost part of the browser stumble bar with easy access to social networking sites. There are thumbs up/down buttons so StumbleUpon can get to know you better as you go along.

Needless to say it didn't take long for me to relapse, and I was stumbling along happily.... here are the top five sites stumble has brought to me.

1. 500 Chrome Experiments

This is fun site to visit. The very best and most creative web coding out there all in one place. Chrome Experiments is an institution dedicated to exploring the possibilities of code for the web... this site is a celebration of 500 of those experiments. all in one place!.... there are plenty of unique ways to pass the time here so have fun and explore.

2. NMNH: Virtual Tour

Tickets to Washington D.C. are pricey right?... well Google still have not perfected a teleportation device yet (though I'm sure there is one on the way) but we do have the next best thing. This virtual tour of the National Museum of Natural Art is an impressive example of what we can achieve via the internet. This site is the closest thing you will get to virtual reality without putting your hand in your pocket.

3. Top 100 Photos of 2012

Everybody likes a bit of good photography. So here is some of the best I have seen on the net. Why 2012? well that's where StumbleUpon sent me. So sit back get, your scroll finger out and get ready to be inspired.

4. Write a Letter to Future You

I liked this site and felt I should put it in this list based on it's simplicity alone. There is nothing complicated about it and I think the Idea is brilliant idea. I was also shocked to see it because I had just published the installment of my blog that had my life goals and this was one of them, strange. The process is simple, pick a date, write a letter to yourself, enter your email address and Bob's your uncle... the letter will be sent to your email on the date you selected... I recommend picking one a few years away at least.

5. BetaMaXas: Retro TV

Ever wondered what it would be like to jump back into the 80's and just well, watch TV?... there wasn't a whole lot else going on was there... This cool little site lets you feel like Marty McFly having some downtime... It brings the 80's/70's TV experience to life... sit back and enjoy!


Friday 29 November 2013

Ain't No Rest for the Wicked

The following is a horror/fiction short story I wrote a while back for a different website. I never really showed it to many friends, so as I am unwell today, I am going to take the lazy option and copy that story to my blog would love to know what you all think of it. So please feel free to comment!

“Fuck me, I'm wrecked!”
“I know, the more I sleep the more tired I am”
“Ha sleep, How can ya sleep with that tap dripping all night”
“I'm used to it by now, I think”
Rob was my flatmate and we have lived together just about long enough for me to figure out that it wasn't that he had grown used to the noise, but rather that he didn't go to bed until he couldn't keep his eyes open any-more. I think we lived here about six months at this stage and I had learned in that time that this guy has issues with sleeping. Don't get me wrong he was a perfectly normal guy, but even when we had class early he could be up most of the night. Joseph on the other hand slept like clockwork. He went to bed early every night and was up first thing everyday, he would leave for work right away and would head back to his room as soon as he got home. I would like to say that he looked fresh too but he never did. In fact maybe he did have trouble sleeping, but he never left his room once he went to bed.
Joseph lived here before us, I think he was there about a year or so before we moved in. Apparently he lived with his girlfriend, they even had a kid together, which is a surprise because Joseph is quiet young. From what I could tell she must have run off with the child, Joseph never really liked to talk about it, so Rob and I didn't bother him. He came across as a relatively normal guy too, very quiet and kept himself to himself, but that's to be expected after what he had been through. He had posted an add in our college looking for two flatmates to move in ASAP, He must have found it hard paying the rent after she had left. Rob and I were in the same course in college, he lived pretty close to Waterford so he could potentially bus it to college, but that was a hassle. I on the other hand lived in Dublin which was much to far away and so I needed to get a flat. Nobody wants to move in with strangers on their own, it's awkward and you might end up spending an entire semester pretending to like someone that makes you feel like you'd rather have your dick cut off (my last room-mate and I didn't really see eye to eye). Luckily Rob decided to save on bus fair and take on rent and bills instead.
The flat was nice enough, especially for what we were paying. Normally when you move into a flat with someone who has been there for a while you expect them to have taken over the place a little, like I mean their books on the shelves, their DVD's, even their clothes lying around. But no, this place seemed to be more or less untouched. It was like moving into a new flat by ourselves. Joseph said he was happy to live from his bedroom and leave the place to us to do as we pleased. This was the perfect deal, it was like we had a phantom flatmate who stayed out of our way but still split the bills. In fact it was almost perfect, other then the fact the washing machine was next to impossible to figure out and the burnt to a crisp hideous oven tray that would cause black smoke to pour through the apartment. It wasn't even the smoke that bothered us, it was the fucking smell it gave off. Enough to turn you off your food, but not enough to actually make us go out and buy a new one (college life eh?). We called it “The Syphilis Tray” because of the disgusting clumps of burnt... eh something, all over it.
For the first couple of weeks things were fine, we barely ever saw Joseph at all unless he had come out of his room to quickly grab a glass of water, he drank a lot of water. This was the only odd thing about his routine. He would leave his room, lock his door, dash to the kitchen, get a glass of water, dash back, unlock his door again and then go back inside, he would also nearly always be on the phone when he did this and it wasn't until later that I realised I never heard him once speak to the person on the other end, he was always just listening. That was the other thing, Rob and I quickly agreed that the water in Waterford City was disgusting, Even in Dublin it was nicer and it was certainly nicer to drink in the back-arse of nowhere where Rob was from. We stopped drinking it all together and started buying bottled water, we would even make tea with the bottled stuff. In fact it got to a point where we would never even turn the tap on.
But then it started dripping, constantly, fucking drip, drop, drip, drop all day. All night. It was driving me nuts, I hadn't slept properly in weeks. I wasn't sure who to go to about it as we were still relatively new in the building, do I decided to complain to Joseph. He told me he would make a call. It wasn't long before it came apparent that Joseph wasn't all that bothered by the dripping, not enough to make that call anyway. So in true student fashion the dripping was ignored, well as much as someone could ignore it, it was tormenting.
Between that and the neighbours fucking each others genitals off in the room next to mine every single night since we moved in, it became hard to get any sleep at all. I was turning into a drone, and was getting most of my sleep on the couch when I hadn't got class. One day Rob woke me up with his relentless banging of cupboard doors.
“Have you seen the cheese grater man?”
“No... Fuck off!”
“What's up with you? Still not sleeping no?”
“No the fucking tap and the fucking!”
“The fucking what?”
“The fucking! The literal fucking next door! That guys dick must be glowing!”
“I never hear them, I do hear Joseph though”
Rob slept next to Joseph so was more likely to hear anything going on in his room. I sat up intrigued. I never heard Joseph at night, in fact I never heard a beep from his room in general.
“Crying man... Crying, I feel so awkward, just lying there listening to it”
Well that makes sense I suppose, he showed little emotion if any out in the real world, so he must let his feelings out at night. I felt so sorry for him, it must be impossible to go through what he is right now, and to live with two strangers at the same time?... not easy.
That was of course until one night I was disturbed by Rob pounding on my door telling me to get out here quick. I regretted opening my door immediately, Joseph looked in shock and the sound from Joseph's room became clear to me. He was screaming, it sounded like he was in hysterics.
“Fucking cunt!”
“That Fucking Whore!!”
It was awful. What the fuck were we meant to do, knock and see if he was ok? Run? I had no idea. We stood listening to him for about 20 minutes, just screaming. Eventually I grabbed my headphones and we went back to bed. But it chilled me.
For the next few days everything was normal enough. I went down to pay the rent (late as usual), Luckily the landlord seemed more worried about the fact she had just been up in our neighbours apartment. It looked like he had left, all his stuff was gone and she was ranting about how he had 4 months months rent overdue. Good news I thought, I might get some sleep now. We simply ignored what we had heard in Joseph's room. We were having a party that Friday so we didn't want to cause any friction with Joseph. But even worse we really hoped he wouldn't go loopy again on Friday, that would be hard to explain to guests. We decided to put it behind us and get as drunk as our bodies would allow.
I remember having a great time and getting drunker and drunker until any memories I have left have been muddled around, blurred or just forgotten. But I remember one thing clearly. When I decided to fall to bed at all hours of the morning, there was someone in my bed. I couldn't figure out who exactly it was but it was definitely a woman, she was petite attractive brunette. It was dark and there had been so many people here earlier I couldn't keep track. I assumed it was one of Rob's friends and let's face it I wasn't about to kick a good looking woman out of bed. I figured she had a little too much to drink and fell into my bed, no big deal. I jumped into bed next to her to get my first bit of decent sleep in three days.
That wasn't necessarily the bit I remember though. I particularly recall the part when I woke up with her poking her tongue in my ear. At least I think I woke up, it's hazy. Before I knew it this girl was on top of me fucking me like nothing I ever felt before, It was like I was paralysed. I couldn't move while she gave me the most intense, wild and mind blowing fuck imaginable. I can still see her eyes, so passionate, so powerful but more extraordinary they were so violent. It was incredible.
The next morning she was gone. Not a trace, I tried to brag to Rob but he wouldn't believe a word, he said he knew no one of that description and that their certainly wasn't anyone at the party like that. I decided I didn't care, after sex like that nothing mattered anyway.
“Fuck you!... you FUCKING!”
I jumped out of my skin, it was Joseph. He was going crazy, his eyes were on fire. He was swinging a knife at me while still holding that fucking phone to his ear. He was psychotic.
“You will fucking die tonight!”
“I will cut your mother-fucking throat out!”
Me and Rob started screaming, we tried to calm him down but he was unstoppable. He swung the knife at me and it caught me in the arm. I shrieked in pain. Rob picked up a chair and through it at his head. The next thing I knew me and Rob were running up the apartment block staircase. It was all so blurry, but I could hear Joseph's deranged threats echoing down the hallway after us. When I looked back down the stairs there he was, his eyes burning up at me, knife in hand and that phone still to his fucking ear and the side of his head soaked in blood from the damage the chair did.
“Don't go up there kids, You'll never get her out of your head!”
Joseph menaced, as he looked up at us with this evil grin across his lips. I shuddered inside but kept moving, my heart was pounding as we reached the top of the stairs. The door to the roof was locked but Rob quickly managed to kick it open. It was only when we got out there in the cold air that we realised we were fucked.
“There is no way down from here man”
“I know, what the... what the fuck is going on!”
We were stuck on the roof and we could hear the that lunatic making his way up the stairs, he was laughing, fucking laughing at us. We could see his demonic silhouette as he reached the roof's door. We looked around the roof for anything, a weapon, an escape route, anything. Then he stopped laughing, he stopped looking at us and instead stared at the water tank that stored the buildings water supply. I couldn't move and from what I could tell either could Rob. Joseph looked vacant. He started slowly walking towards the water tank. I couldn't take my eyes of him. When he reached the tank just stood there for a minute before he dropped the knife and his phone. I could see a tear on his cheek, he was crying. Everything seemed to be in slow motion as he lifted the big plastic cover over the tank. He stared into it, and for a moment I couldn't breath.
“Goodbye... I forgive you, I love you”
He slowly covered the lid over the tank and turned to us again. He looked right at me, and his eyes cut into me like nothing I have ever felt.
“She is your problem now”
He said with that horrible grin. I tried to reply but didn't get the chance, he began running for the edge of the roof. We screamed to try and stop him but before we knew it he was flying over the edge. It seemed like forever but it must have been seconds later when we heard the cold brutal sound of flesh on concrete, 7 floors below. He was dead.
Rob and I couldn't speak for several minutes but when we did Rob's voice was like a ghost's, he was shaking. I was the same. We cautiously made our way over to the side of the building, where below we could see Joseph's body. He looked like a marionette who had just had it's strings cut. I looked away, it was too much to handle.
We looked at each other, I knew what he was thinking, I was thinking the same but that doesn't mean it was a good idea.
“What the fuck is in the tank?”
We approached it cautiously, we had to know. Rob nominated himself to lift the lid and I was first to look in. As I looked into the blackened water tank it took a second for my eyes to adjust, in some ways I wish they hadn't adjusted. It became clear what was inside. It was a young woman
She was a petite brunette.
It was her, the girl from that night I was certain. I'll never forget those eyes, they were still open and still violent looking. Rob looked in at her too, I don't know if it was the shock, or a brief lapse of reality but all he could say was “We drank that water.... Oh god... He drank that water”.
Looking back that night on the roof seems so surreal, but to this day I feel her next to me at night, lying there beside me, wanting me. I still can't sleep. I guess she is my problem now.
It was about three weeks later, and the police had been questioning us relentlessly, they never believed our story, and have told us to stay in the country while they continue the investigation, they took everything we owned in that flat, in fact they took everything in the flat full stop. It could be evidence of what really happened or it could be evidence to use against us. In those few weeks we managed to piece together most of the story for ourselves (the real story), which got stranger the more we found out. It seemed Joseph and his partner had moved in over a year ago and were quiet happy together, until they had a child. She suffered strongly from postnatal depression, and began acting out of character. Joseph even suspected her of cheating. One night he came home from work early and could hear her going at it with neighbour in the room next to theirs. Apparently he lost the plot all together and kicked down his door and butchered him before tying his partner up, carrying her up to roof and drowning her in the water tank. Leaving a two month year old baby crying in it's cot downstairs.
His partner was identified as Ms. Linda Biggs aged 21.
The police told us that his phone was replaying a voice message over and over again, it a a message he left to himself telling him to calm down and that everything would be fine. They said his voice was quivering as he repeatedly mumbled the words, calm down, calm down, they will never know, no one needs to know.
No one had lived next door to us, it was only later I realised that I had never seen them. I only heard them, or at least believed I heard them. No one had lived there since the night Joseph heard them. I don't know if I was hearing things or what, but all I can remember is that it drove me crazy too.
Detective Brennan told me after an interview with him that when he visited Joseph's workplace they said he had been acting crazy for weeks, that he had been heard mumbling about how his old life is gone and it was time for his new world.
A few days ago Rob came to visit me in Dublin. I had returned home to my parents as soon as the police were done with me, the thought of staying in Waterford chilled me. I knew from the moment I opened the door to him it was bad. He was white, it reminded me of the night on the roof.
“Come in, you ok?”
“I was down with the police again this morning”
He came in and sat down, I began to make him a cup tea. He looked frightened and disgusted at the same time. It scared me. He didn't speak for a while, I gave him his tea and sat down. He looked at me in a way that suggested he either couldn't get the words out, or just didn't want to tell me what he was about to tell me.
“Man it's, I don't know, it's just bad”
“Come on man, after everything, I don't think I'll be too shocked”
He hesitated for a second. I could see tears forming in his eyes.
“Do you remember the tray?”
“The syphilis tray” I laughed.
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I don't know how I knew what he was about to say but I did. My body froze and my heart thumped as he looked at me once more and uttered the words that would haunt me forever.
“He cooked the baby...”

Thursday 28 November 2013

5 Reasons to LIKE this Country!

Ireland is by no means perfect. I think we can all agree on that. Then again nowhere is. We have all sat in the local with friends and bitched about politics, junkies, the price of a pint and of course our favorite, the weather. The majority of the time we are probably right to moan. But I have a new hot topic to complain about... complaining!

"Oh, it's winter, it's cold and the Christmas decorations are up way to early. Sure Christmas is too commercial these days anyway. I'll catch the vomiting bug on Christmas eve anyway, I always do." Ohh SHUT UP!

It was too hot three months ago... and you were complaining about summer flu then!

Anyway rant over ( I do realize the irony of complaining about complaints). The point of today's post is to list reasons why this country is still one of the best in the world. Yes, I said it, one of the best in the world. I have left out some obvious ones, such as not being under dictatorship or in the middle of the war.... Or the fact that despite a fair amount of homelessness most of us can still put food on the table. It's the small things you know.

Here are my top 5 reasons to LIKE Ireland...

1. Size, Transport, Places

Ireland is literally the perfect size, we often say it's too small but it's not. There are 6 major cities in the Republic of Ireland, Dublin, Cork, Limerick, Galway, Waterford  and Kilkenny (yes Kilkenny has city status). All of these cities are reachable within a few hours. Not to mention all of the in-arguably beautiful tourist spots that lie in between. Not many countries can boast this level accessibility. Particularly not without the cities being on top of each other. As a Dubliner, I could leave my mothers house and be in Cork well within 3 hours, and I don't drive... how do I achieve this? by train... Ireland's train system is fantastic... always on time always comfortable... and always cheap (compared to anywhere else in europe). The point is I can easily get to Cork, on the other side of the country, and yet I am still far away enough that I don't have to talk to any Corkonians on a day to day basis, win! (Joke)

2. We Move Forwards... While Facing Backwards

The cities in Ireland, particularly Dublin are changing and have been for a while now. Dublin has embraced it's status as a European capital. There is an air of cosmopolitan there that has NEVER been seen in Ireland. The other cities are starting to follow suit... Ireland is an up to date, modern country. At the same time though, Irish people never forget their roots, it's not hard to find a traditional Irish pub. You do not have to travel far to go hiking and because we are an island there is always somewhere to swim (if you are brave). We still have all our iconic Irish traditions, while maintaining a strong grasp on the future.

3. We Entertain

It is our forté and probably always will be. I can honestly say that I don't know one Irish person who hasn't got a unique, usually overbearing way of dramatizing the most ordinary of events. It's brilliant. You go to any corner of this island and you are certain to be entertained. We love to make people laugh, even if it's a serious topic.... ESPECIALLY if it's a serious topic... Ireland's drama and passion for entertaining each other as well as outsiders is what has always made us special... because that is why people like us... and is definitely something to like about ourselves.

4. People Dream About Ireland

It's hard for most Irish people to believe, but it's incredibly true. People from all over the world think this place is beautiful, they think it's magical, they think it's fun... they even think it's home (when it's probably not). The crazy part is they are right... we have just been too busy complaining... Ireland is a truly aesthetic country, it is romantic.... sure, we have a way about us that could make dirt romantic. Women have dreamed of getting married here. Men have dreamed of drinking here.... Maybe we need to appreciate that a bit more sometimes.

5. We are not Britain

Now, hold on. I know it's easy to have a pop at the Brits, but that's not what I want to do. I want to make a genuine point here. Britain is still widely considered to be a world power and is formerly the largest empire in the world. It is also our closest neighbour and we are often mistaken as being part of it. But why?.... Despite all of this, Ireland's food, hotels, tourism, public transport are all considered to be of a higher standard then Britain's... Our houses are bigger and survey's show we are happier. There is less class discrimination here, less suicide, less crime. Our education system (at least at third level) makes the British system seem, well... unfair. These are facts, I'm not trying to insult anybody... It just begs the question why would we leave here to go there?


We have all heard the phrase "The grass is always greener...." but just remember this, when talking about Ireland, it is very possible that the grass actually is.

Wednesday 27 November 2013

101 Things to Do Before I Die

It was over a year ago when I ran my first marathon and decided I wanted to make a list of things to do, achieve and experience before I die. The idea was that it would inspire me to go out and see the things I really wanted to. As I was inspired by my achievement of completing the marathon, that was to be number 1 and would be already considered achieved! (hence 101 rather 100). The list was to only contain things I truly believed I wanted to do. It was also meant to be achievable, in that I wasn't allowed to put things like "Go to Space" because let's face it (and I hope I am wrong) that ain't ever going to happen.

I figured writing the list would be easy enough. I mean how hard is to write down all the things you want to do? well, very.

101 is a huge number of things for you to consider an achievement, for you to consider meaningful or even for you to have dreamed about doing in your life. I'm sure it is easy to think of 101 random things you want to do in life, anyone could do that... but 101 honest personal ambitions? different story! It took me over a year to do, and to be truly happy with the list (imagine how long it will take to complete).

So without further delay, here is my final bucket list, 1-101!

1. Run a Marathon ***(Achieved)***
2. Learn to play Moonlight Sonata on Piano
3. See the Northern Lights
4. Sell a painting I did
5. See Vegas!
6. Go to Burning Man
7. Sky Dive
8. See my book on a shelf in a bookstore *Lifelong Ambition*
9. Scuba dive somewhere tropical
10. Crowd Surf
11. See Asia
12. Climb Kilamangaro
13. Sail a boat
14. See Liverpool FC in a cup final
15. Visit my Grandad's grave in Liverpool
16. Drive down a highway in America with the top down (or be passenger)
17. Go to The World Cup or European Championships
18. Abseil (Properly)
19. Go to New York
20. Organize a huge even for charity
21. Learn to drive
22. Ride a motorbike
23. Jet Ski
24. Jump into the 40ft on Christmas Day
25. Sleep under the stars
26. Experience gliding
27. Whisky a Go Go
28. Jump a horse
29. Buy something with a poem
30. Walk Dun Laoghaire pier with my mother again
31. Write an entire album *Lifelong Ambition*
32. Try Surfing
33. Sex in the rain
34. Get a degree
35. See Metallica live one more time
36. Attempt a food challenge
37. Live somewhere I have dreamed of living
38. Brave a bungee jump
39. Go to Oktoberfest
40. Visit strawberry fields
41. See cluster islands (like Vietnam)
42. Read 5 of the world's greatest novels of all time
43. Go to a lap-dance club
44. Learn to speak a second language
45. See a whale
46. Step into a wrestling ring and bounce of the ropes
47. FINISH a novel *Lifelong Ambition*
48. Play chess with my father again
49. Learn to play Saxophone
50. Try Acting
51. See a Giant Moon
52. Do the Bull Run
53. Tomato Slide
54. Brew my Own Beer
55. Cliff Jump
56. Make a cocktail in a bar
57. Go to the Moulin Rouge
58. Fire a gun
59. Plant a tree and watch it grow
60. Get a tattoo
61. Kiss the Blarney Stone
62. Pass a subject with flying colours
63. Go into a shark cage
64. Go Zorbing
65. Watch empire's top 100 movies of all time in order (not one sitting)
66. Listen to Rolling Stone's 100 Greatest Albums of all time in order, entirely.
67. Fly a kite
68. Inspire someone else to make a list and help them check something off
69. See India
70. Complete a video game I couldn't complete when I was a kid ***(Achieved)***
71. Own a White Falcon Guitar
72. Visit the Cliffs of Mohar
73. Sing a song in The Cavern, Liverpool
74. Master one amazing magic trick
75. Buy a homeless person food / help out with Vincent de Paul
76. Spend a whole week completely alone and be creative
77. Spend a whole day naked
78. See the Great Wall of China
79. See a Glacier
80. See Niagra Falls
81. Trek through a rainforest
82. Gallop a horse along a beach
83. Speak nothing but Irish for a week
84.  Go for the family record (do my BEST win or lose)
85. Circle the world (leave one direction return from the other)
86. Have a meal in one of the world's finest restaurant
87. Visit 5 places that take my breath away
88. Rent a castle
89. Own a dog
90. Go on a hot air balloon ride
91. See Madison Square Garden
92. Write a letter to future me
93. Win a trophy (try at least)
94. Eat a meal from food I raised
95. Furnish a room with with only up-cycled objects
96. Try some form of boxing
97. Experience Japan
98. Go in a submarine
99. See a volcano (erupting if possible)
100. Set a Guinness World Record (or be part of one)
101. Wing Walk!








Tuesday 26 November 2013

Quiting Smoking: 5 things nobody told me I would face!

Ok, so I am in the middle of week 4 without cigarettes. It has been well, up and down... but I must say that so far it has mostly been up, for once. It is by no means my first attempt at quitting, however I have made the decision that it will be my last... whether I end up back on them or not.

I am hoping that this do or die method will keep me on track and so far so good. The last few days have been the most interesting because they are the first few without any nicotine aid at all. I had been implementing a rotation system between patches and e-cigarettes up until now. Having tried several different methods over the past few years and 11 years experience with smoking I STRONGLY recommend using some form of nicotine replacement at first, if you try go it alone you may very well end up sinking quickly.

Anyway, this is my 6th attempt and I have never been more confident in myself and I know this is because I feel I am finally prepared for everything the beast can throw at me. It may have taken 5 "practise" runs but I have yet to come across any surprise symptoms I have not encountered before... Only this time I am ready.

The other 5 times however I wasn't, at all, something always caught me out and forced me back onto the cigarettes. So I think it is important I share with the world some of the things I wish I knew before my first attempt.

1. People Have NO IDEA!

Non smokers I mean. People who have never had a cigarette in their life. They will torture you. They will not understand the pain you are going through. Some will be arseholes about it, the "I don't understand how you could smoke in this day and age anyway" kind of person, WANKERS I like to call them. They have literally no concept of what it is like, they think it is nothing but a habit and will have no sympathy... the irony is that everything they say will make you want a cigarette so much more.
Others are well meaning, the "I know it's supposed to be really hard, but you can do it". They are nearly worse, because when it gets tough the first thing you will teach yourself is that you are too weak to do it, so you smoke because you are depressed that you can't do it, and you have let the nice people who said you could down. Tricky ain't it.

2. Mind Games

Someone warned me briefly about this one before I ever tried to quit. They threw it into conversation casually... I hate them for that. They should have said, you will suffer from a kind of schizophrenic dementia that will make you want to bite your fingers off and smoke them. Even this would have been an understatement. What happens in your head when trying to quit cigarettes is extraordinary. Don't take any of what I say to be exaggerated, this is a war! Your brain will do ANYTHING, to make you smoke. It will play games, it will make you weak, it will even make you strong, yep, strong. It will make you think you are so strong that smoking could never do any damage to you. It will convince you that smoking being bad for you is a conspiracy, and you will believe it! Anything to get that precious nicotine. Don't listen to it! Even if that means switching off your brain!

3. Heartbreak

It is literally the only way I can describe it. Heartbreak, just like losing someone you love. This is something you need to expect when quitting. Now I will say that unlike real heartbreak in my experience it will not last as long, maybe even just a few days, but it comes with all the trimmings, the panic, the thumping in your chest, the need to cry, the loneliness, everything!... You will want to go running back to cigarettes so quickly, you will feel like you can't live without them. In all honesty this is the hurdle most people (particularly men) fall down at first. It is tough as shit, but believe me, just like love you will get over it!

4. Hulk Mad!

Ok, I had of course heard of this one before I tried to quit. I figured I would be a bit tetchy, maybe even have a bit of go at someone for no reason. Wow was I wrong!... the nicotine monster takes over on this one. You will NOT get a BIT upset, you will go CRAZY!... I mean you will go nuts for hours straight! This is a lot worse in the first couple of days due to the nicotine leaving your body, after a week you will be close to sane again. The major problem with this is when you mix it with number 1 on my list. Most smokers will understand why you are being intolerable, but those non-smokers? They will put up with it for all of 2 seconds, before they forget their promise to "be there for you no matter what". So make sure you don't let the monsters ruin your relationships. Just try your best to grit your teeth and smile, the monster doesn't like that.

5. No Finish Line

This the most overlooked thing I have seen to date and something that people rarely ever mention. To me it is one of the most important things you should know. It is not like after 3 months without a cigarette makes you declared officially off them, there is no big party to celebrate, there is nothing. You never really know when you have officially become a non smoker. This makes it seem so pointless and depressing. I know it sounds strange but I guarantee this is one of the main causes for failure. So it is very important that you set your own rewards (or get your partner to set them *recommended*). Always remember you are giving up because it is a ridiculously stupid, pointless, expensive, disgusting habit and not because you want to acheive something by giving up, if you want to achieve something run a marathon!


I hope if you are trying to quit you found this somewhat helpful and remember this, there is one more thing people don't tell you enough about quitting... it's easy! All you have to do is not bloody smoke!.... see I am sounding like a Non-Smoker already. Yuss!

Day 0

So I here I am again on Blogger, it's been a long time and my last blog was hardly a success. This time, however, I am not writing a blog because I am bored and I am trying to pass some time. I am writing one because I have so much to say. I think if you intend to write a personal blog, or any blog for that matter, you really need to have something to say.

Now anybody who knows me is probably thinking, "when has he not got something to say" and this is true, I can talk shite for Ireland. That is the problem though, it's normally shite! This is where I have come to a conclusion, something I new all my life, but never really understood. I can write better then I can talk.

So I have decided to create this online journal with all the things that are on my mind. From the honesty of how something really makes me feel, to my future hopes and plans.... I am not looking for anybody to follow this Blog, it is purely so I can share my thoughts (even if it is only with myself), but if you wanna read any of what I post feel free... It's just my way of expressing myself and sharing my thoughts with my friends... no journalism, just a journal.